Forever Day, Never Night

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

giving the recent events in the drama we call britney spears' life, i feel compelled to write. having been a fan since she came popular in 98, i have watched this woman grow up into the queen of pop and crash before my very eyes. it's hard to watch some one that you have idolized for so long just downward spiral into a mental mess. from the controversy of her performances to the non exsistent clothing. i wanted to be her. beautiful, popular, famous and talented. she was the american dream to me. i dressed up as her for halloween on numerous occasions. i bought all her albums. seen her twice in concert. learned all the dance routines. do i regret it? not even for a moment. she had such an impact on me that i cant even describe in words. she was my idol. until the hour long marriage in vegas. to me, the start of that downward spiral. a girl who seemed to have her head on straight with good morals goes to vegas and treats marriage like a party. she annulls it hours later. saying it was just a joke. marriage is not a joke. marriage is something that is precious, something that you dont just toss around. then again many celebrities do the vegas wedding and pulls the same stunts only to divorce later on. then there was the marriage to kevin federline. all of us just sat in a dumb stupor asking ourselves why? why is she doing this to herself? the man has two kids with shar jackson. he left her while she was STILL pregnant. he had gold digger written all over him. i do admit they do have some cute pictures together and at times looked incredibly happy but something just didnt seem right about this marriage. before we knew it we saw our pop star walking out of public bathrooms barefoot. her appearance quickly declined to mismatched outfits of cowboy boots and greasy hair. i do believe that britney did indeed love kevin, but i feel that the feelings werent mutal. then came baby number one.. little sean preston. what a cutie!! britney seemed to have everything she wanted. a family with a loving husband. then the tabloids started. kevin's out partying too much. britney's at home with the baby alone. rumors of the marriage falling apart were all over the place. then only months later, she announces she preggo with another lil cutie pie. i personally think that this baby, jayden james, was their last attempt at saving their marriage that was crumbling. about a month or two later.. britney files for divorce. britney fans cheered! britney was finally free from the gold digger. she looked fabulous but she was now a single mom. that means no partying, no late nights, stayin home with the babies. any responsible mother would have done that. but of course britney would break all rules. she was soon hittin every night club, seen with Paris and Lindsay, flashing her vajayjay like theres no tomorrow. something isnt right here. we slowly see the relationship between her and her mother lynn fall to pieces. she fires managers. the partying still continues. then in february she does the unthinkable. she shaves her head. to me this was her breaking point. this girl i thought has totally lost her mind. but of course i felt for her. this girl has had two babies in two years, is going through a nasty divorce, losing her mother, the death of an aunt, and the papparazi are folowing her every move. i think after years of constantly being followed and having every move you make being plastered all over the news and magazines, id lose my mind too. people speculated post partum depression. i think that is possible but it just exploded into something else. for months this poor girl was everywhere. critcizing her mothering skills, her late night partying, etc. at this time both kevin and britney had 50/50 custody over the two boys. whats wrong with going out on the night that you dont have the kids? to me, absoultly nothing. sometimes you just gotta let loose. but god forbid reports have sympathy for a girl who is now a single mother. being only 25 i dont think she was ready settle down. she missed out on a childhood, mostly forced upon her by her mother. now im not saying that everything this girl has done i support, but give the damn woman a break! nearly dropping lil sean preston. what mom hasnt nearly dropped their kid? what mom/father hasnt driven with their child on their lap? i remember my dad letting me "drive" id sit on this lap while he was in the driver's seat too. this isnt out of the ordinary. having DCFS show up because your kid falls out of the highchair is to the extreme. i remember my brother falling out of his highchair. everything is blown WAY to out of proportion for this girl. now the accusations of drug usage. i believe that britney may indeed be using drugs.. what "teen" celebrity hasnt done them? i think in the mist of all the chaos that is goin on in her life, turning to drugs and alcohol was her way of coping with everything. friends backstabbing her, parents turning against her and an ex husband who is just out of his mind. i dont support the use of drugs and its never a good release from stress and/or problems. Fed-x has become amazingly in my eyes a good father.. out of the blue. i know that he needs to be because those poor boys need someone and its obvious that Britney is highly incapable of taking her of them let alone herself. So i believe the judge's decision in giving Kevin full custody of the boys was a smart decision. if it has anything to do with a valid drivers license its a bunch of bullshit. i think theres WAY more behind it than a driver's license. Rumor has it that she never attempted to start the classes that the judge had ordered such as parenting classes, AA, and random drug tests. I think britney has lost her chance. i think that people need to keep a close eye on her. if i was in her state under the influence of drugs and incredibly depressed it would have crossed my mind a million time of committing suicide. i think the press needs to back the FUCK off of her. now im no Leave Britney Alone freak who cries... but i do believe that people need to lay off of her for awhile. maybe this will give her the opportunity to get her act together ... maybe she should do what Lindsay Lohan did and just go into isolation rehab in Utah. its clear that there is a mental problem here. one minute she's happy then next she's crying.. i suspect bipolar.. im no doctor but having a mild case i can totally see it. Britney needs to make ammends with her parents. She needs both of them. They need to smack her around. She needs to establish a better relationship with Kevin for the sake of the boys. as much as im excited for her new album to come out, i think she needs to stay away from work. get your fuckin act together! Britney needs to get rid of her fuckin cousin Alli.. i think she's nothing but trouble and she's using britney so she can get her own taste of fame. Britney needs a good friend. Maybe her and Justin Timberlake should talk. Justin and Britney always seemed like an amazing couple but also good friends. Britney needs a fresh start... maybe what she needs is to forget 2007 and start fresh in 2008... i still love britney and support her but this woman is seriously fucked up.....

posted by Kristen at 5:42 PM -

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